still a debate

 if the f/m circuitry should remain unchanged, be more 'reorientaseish'... I think so, the latter.  I and my groin have empathy for what they go through!   An enormous amount.  It's a side issue, but it might be good to not confuse it with my genuine feeling?  And then find out what an EMPAMORPHIC experience of watching a J-video would be!...  (and I don't want ot to be cold and numb like my mind just suggested).

I think, the feelings in my groin should move to my brain and

a) they would be fear, arousal, quasi(?)sexual intoxication, terror, ADRENALINE, and... well, those things, maybe a few more not sure?

b) I feel like those feelings are... compartmentalised? in my brain, and... something something

I guess at the end of the day, the answer i'd aim at the question of '_what do you want to feel?_' is that i want it to be totally different in the compartmentalisation factor.  They surrender, BECAUSE IT BURSTS THE COMPARTMENT AND TAKES OVER.  So I could feel it nonempamorphically?, and still be immune to a strong surrender feeling that i'm feeling.

Later written: